viernes, 23 de marzo de 2007

"Les choses essentielles se produisent en ce monde sans explication ni motif, puisant en elles-mêmes leur propre raison d'être." Milan Kundera

I come home and I'm in a strange set of mind...I open the door to the room next to mine finding it empty, filled still with this beautiful energy that I hope will linger here for a long time. I was growing accustomed to his presence, his lightness and warm smile....I think a bit about what I want to write about and I wonder If I'm ready to say everything that has been going through my head and heart these past few days...

might as well just start from the beginning.

(listening to swan lake...)

I didn't remembered how big the subway station was. The one nearest to my home is just a massive black hole that swallows hundreds of people each minute. As I park my car around the corner and I start walking towards it I get increasingly nervous. How am I going to find him here??? Im hoping he'll have a way to call me as soon as he realizes the indications I gave him in order to find each other were not going to work... I look at the crowd going in and out, "look for a tall blond", shouldn't be too hard to spot in this city. Finally a call from a generous guy who lets me know where they are. I hurry and at last I spot him with his huge bagpack and a captivating smile. The moment he said hello I knew there was nothing to fear in this stranger that would, in the following days, become a good friend and an everlasting memory.

Adam came to my home, giving such an effusive greeting to my parents that they immediatelly fell for him. He was chatty and energetic. After a home-cooked meal we spent the afternoon talking over a few beers, contacting other strangers to meet at night.

By the time he started opening up about what he was doing, his trip, his life, his mission, I felt so deeply touched by his passion and his evidently huge huge heart. It is very rare to come across people in this world who feel so proud about their life. Who are so certain about their direction, and who have embraced this sense of destiny with everything that it implies, the good, the bad, the pain, the sad, and the incredible joy of pursuing a higher calling....

Over the next week I opened not only my home but also my heart to this man who everyday reminded me of what life, ultimately, should be all about... I had never met anyone with such a strong certainty of having a mission to complete. It takes a lot of courage to leave everything and everyone back home and sail away towards places and people that you've never met.

I find it so amazing that I had the chance to meet Adam. For one reason or another he ended up at my house, of all places... there are no coincidences he says... and whatever it was that brought him here, it has given me a sense of reassurance, and I will be forever grateful for that.

(listening to terra naomi)

When I uploaded the song "say it's possible" I said I would have wrote "believing"... Adam is walking proof that it can happen. Whatever it is that calls us, whatever it is that we feel inside, this fire burning inside us: it is real and it is there.

All through our lives we spend so much time allowing the noise of the world to fill our heads and hearts with made-up beliefs and desires. We're told each day what the world want us to be, what everyone would expect us to be, we're attacked by adds made for the masses and everyday we go to bed a bit more disconnected from ourselves... do you remember what you wanted to be when you were a child?? do you remember what you use to believe in??? I remember believing in the ultimate kindness and goodness of all people. I thought anyone could be a friend. A kid you had known for 5 minutes could become a life-long mate... I believed that we could make a difference, that the world and everything that was wrong with it would always have a solution based on a collective effort from all of us....

and then you start growing up, and you think that in the real world there's no space for get caught up in a dynamic you will rarely be able to break out of. You forget what you wanted to be. You forget what used to believe in. You become a mere shadow of the amazing being you could have been. You wake each morning wishing you could sleep longer so that you could dream more. You watch movies and read books about the things you wish your life would be about, and then you go on with your day and never, ever, really try to be free.

Comfort is the biggest threat our soul has... I have been in that place so long. Being afraid of stepping up. Being afraid of chasing things I would like to do because I think that there's no more room in my life for deception. If it doesn't happen, if I fail, most of the time I think I'm not strong enough to recover...However, every heartbreak I've ever had has in a way showed me more and more the path I'm supposed to be walking. Every time I've taken a leap of faith, things eventually work out for me. That scholarship for France, I never thought I would get it and yet, I got that call that was such a surprise! The trip to Paris to visit Marathon man for 2 weeks, when all common sense said I was being completely irrational, there was something inside that said go for it...and when I did I spent some of the best days of my life....

there's always that voice inside, trying to shout out from wherever it's trapped. Sometimes we make room enough for it and follow our hearts. Other times, we try to shut it down for so long, that in the end, it probably will....

I guess that's when people like Adam come along. I dont really think he knows how inspiring he can be. He's that outside thing, that comes to shake the earth you stand on in order to try and make you wake up. He has things to say. Things in his heart he knows to be true. And everywhere he goes, to anyone who'll listen, he'll tell the same story over and over again, but always with such passion, that it's impossible to remain the same.

It doesn't really matter what happens by the end of his trip, changes start to happen as soon as he enters into your life. Its like some magic power that allows him to stir something up inside people.... the way he says that he's been "chosen", at first it may sound a little strange, but after a few minutes, he'll have you convinced. I wish we could all embrace ourselves, our lives, and our destiny as much as he has... we should all be brave like that.

Adam gives out the best hugs I've ever had...! I just had to mention that. I guess he sort of channels something through his arms. All this amazing energy and love coming from everyone he's met and will meet in the future, just flowing though his open arms. There's something so honest about him, it makes you want to open your life up completely.

Im so grateful for him being here... He said how he wanted to be remembered, in someway live forever, be immortal... I believe we carry people with us, in our souls, forever... and I will carry this man around in my heart. Achieving immortality trhough others, what a nice thing to do eh??

(listening to sick puppies)

As we were approaching the bus station to see him off to his next stop, I wished he could stay longer. However I knew that he has to keep moving, keep waking people up with his amazing capability to see the world through fresh and un-spoiled eyes. One last hug, and his voice saying "follow your dreams"... coming from him, that meant a lot to me. These were more than empty words, these were more than just good wishes, these were the words of an amazing soul that speaks from experience. I just have to find more people like him, and maybe be brave enough to become one.

To my new brother that I learned to love and admire so much in these few days... I love you very very much...thank you for shining a bit of your light into my life, and I hope I can one day do the same for others and make you proud... thanks for helping me wake up....

"May the road rise up to meet you,
may the wind be always at your back,
may the sun shine warm upon your face,
may the rain fall soft upon your field...
and until we meet again, may god hold you in the palm of his hand"
-Celtic blessing

I still have tons to write about, lots of things to think about...
isn't it so nice to be feeling again???!

believe, its possible...!

1 comentario:

María del Mar dijo...

:) que bueno barbarina... me da mucho gusto. Para mí, tu eres una persona así, que me hace creer cada vez que hay mas cosas que las cotidianas. Así que fíjate... como este chico Adam es para tí, te aseguro que tu eres una estrellita brillante para otros / por lo menos para mí sí... )

Te quiero mun montón :)